Wednesday, January 27, 2010

life by the numbers...the teen years

I don't know what I weighed when I was born - average sized I would presume. As a young girl and up until roughly puberty, I was scrawny. I ran around, played outside, participated in sports, had knees that stuck out farther than the meat on my thighs. I hit puberty - and while I won't blame it entirely on puberty - the timing is suspect. I don't know what I weighed in high school. I don't remember getting on a scale. And there WAS no blogging back then - there were diaries but I spent my time writing about Layne Browing who I had a giant crush on. And Steve somebody or another, and how my teachers were boring. I remember having a harder and harder time finding clothes that fit - the stores only went so high in size and there were no plus size stores. I was probably a size 12 or so? But I was still active - VERY active even.
I swam on swim team, played basketball, ran track, even tried tennis for a short time. I was on the flag team - the biggest girl but not obscenely so. And while I was aware of my weight - and a few eating issues that were starting to emerge - I wasn't too worried about it. My mom was nonchalant. She was always on some crazy diet herself. Only grapefruit, no fats, salad for dinner...I don't remember the specifics, I was pretty self absorbed. Like every other teenager. I do remember making frosting. powdered sugar, milk, butter, and vanilla. stir it until smooth - and eat. Yup - Gross.
And hiding the eating. Not conscientiously - but definately not binging in front of anyone. I had babysitting jobs and a steady income. And was independant enough that sneaking food wasn't noticed. I look back and see the patterns beginning.

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