Friday, February 26, 2010

Question - need feedback

So - assuming we're all adults here - or nearly adults - or at least adult-like, looking back on your life as it led up to being overweight, struggling with food, arriving where we are, what advice would you have given yourself when you first started this struggle?  If you could write a letter to yourself or jump back in time with advice, what would you say?  Can you look back and pinpoint that pivotal time?  Would you go back and ask your parents to do something differently?  Act differently, provide different support?  Would you have appreciated and been able to listen to it from the outside?

My purpose is this - my daughter is 16.  And my biggest fear is that she's following me down this path.  The one that leads to 300+ pounds, low self-esteem, poor life choices.  And I'm not sure how to address it.  I've asked myself how I would have changed my OWN path had I known where it leads.  And I don't have the answer.  I know that my mom didn't help - and that's not to say that she didn't try - but I didn't listen.  I was in therapy a few times, but the topic there was not food.  (my childhood with my father was a nightmare - I did NOT suffer sexual abuse but physical and emotional abuse which carried over into my teens and then adult life). 

So as I struggle with my own issues (struggle just doesn't seem like a strong enough word sometimes!), I'm struggling also with how to encourage my daughter to lead a more healthy life - have more choices as an adult, and ultimately NOT follow in my footsteps. 

So what advice for the mom of a 16 year old who's well on her path to overeating and food addiction?  There's  hope.  There must be.  I've failed myself for 41 years, I do NOT want to fail her too. 

And on THAT happy note!


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