Thursday, April 1, 2010

caved...

so - last night as I was picking up my daughter from work (did you know DQ has a sugar free 50 calorie fudge bar?!), I headed to K-mart where I picked up a new scale.  I weighed in this morning - and made my husband weigh in too.  I'm only .6 pounds away from him now!  I will post my official weigh-in tomorrow like usual.  And then put the scale away until Tuesday.  For the month of April, I will only weigh myself 2 times a week.  I'm weaning myself.  Slowly. 

Last night I ate spaghetti - only instead of noodles, I put the sauce over zuchini - it was amazing!!  I could have eating 2 more servings...if only!  Sadly, I fixed my lunch for today and put it in the fridge.  Where it sits.  35 miles away from work.  And probably to be eaten by my teenager for her lunch today.  Tonight I'll go grocery shopping and do some meal planning.  We've got a lazy weekend coming up and I want to get some meals in the freezer for lunches in the coming weeks.  I need to get back on top of that, I've been slacking. 
In OA news - I'm still on step 4 - need to finish the activity questions.  I've been stalled here for a little while.  But I'll sit down and do it.  Soon, I promise. 

In other news - last night's running I used my IPhone and Pandora instead of my Ipod.  My son has put some obejectionable music on my IPod (from his friends) and I've been using that when I wore my capri's to run in (it's been HELLA cold here - running skirt = frostbite!).  Anyway - my mile time with the shuffle (and crappy music) was about 14:35 miles.  With the good - upbeat - music I like last night?  13:35!!  It does make a huge difference!!  2.5 miles last night.  And I felt pretty good. 

I've been having to break my running down same as my eating.  If I focus on the goal of running 13.1 miles in one shot, I get overwhelmed.  I want to quit.  It freaks me right out.  but if I concentrate on my training plan - and complete it one day at a time, it's managable and I AM able to do it!  My son says to me last night, "do you know you have to run FIVE miles on SATURDAY?!?"  I told him honestly, "Nope, I only know what I'm supposed to do today.  Tomorrow and the day after will take care of themselves".  My eating needs to be the same way (and mostly has been).  If I concentrate on today, I can manage my calories, my urges, and not binge.  But if I start to let myself think about losing another 57 pounds, having to NOT binge the rest of my life, all the feelings that go along with it - it's like an avalanche and I start to doubt myself. 

There's no doubt I've bitten off a lot (no pun intended).  Changing the way I eat on a daily basis is HUGE!  Changing the way I think about food, how I treat myself, how I treat my body - that's no small task.  It's a lifelong commitment.  But taken one day at a time(tm), it can be done.  And with God by my side, I can do it!!

TTFN,
LauraLynne

3 comments:

Laura said...

Yes you CAN do it! I think you have a very healthy and manageable way of looking at the running schedule! You are doing awesome Laura Lynne! :) :) :)

Tiff said...

You are right; I've been learning that just as soon as I think that I have everything under control, I find out that I don't have it all down as well as I thought I did. Ahhh...it's all part of the process I guess. Keep moving forward, you really are doing so great!

Drazil said...

I have no idea what you said after you said DQ. Now I'm mad at you....lol