Saturday, April 10, 2010

Losing weight is like a day at the beach...

So the other day as I was running along in my neighborhood – my brain was spinning in its usual 1,000 directions. Anything but thinking about the physical torture I was putting myself through. One of the spinning topics were this picture: Losing weight is like a day at the beach. You look around, the sun is shining, the surf is calm, people are laying around in swimsuits just relaxing and enjoying themselves. But your beach chair, your swim suit, your cooler of beach refreshments are all buried under the sand…and you’re faced with a choice. Live life on top of the sand – a little uncomfortable and with the knowledge of all that awaits you if you DO the work … or just do the work. Shovel the sand. Reach your goal. But it’s not easy. You dig and dig and you rarely take time to step back and recognize the progress you’ve made. You only know that you haven’t reached your goal. That the chaise lounge, the fuzzy warm towel, the tropical drinks…they’re all below where you are. And you can’t stop digging. The sand will collapse, you feel like you’ll end up right back where you started. Maybe even worse like in the past. You NEVER get a break. You’re not even sure you’ll be able to stop digging once you reach your goal. That terrifies me.

I’m on ‘vacation’ right now. My husband’s business has a booth at the Portland Swap Meet every year and we come down here, hang out, work, and generally have a nice time. It’s no “vacation” in traditional terms but it is not our usual chaos. My ‘vision’ was based on the fact that I had to pack for 4 days away from home. Clean underpants for the duration and the usual assortment of clothes for spring in the Northwest (that means a little of everything – and layers – lots of layers). But now – since I’m trying to get healthy, since I’m training for the half marathon – it means a LOT more. I have to pack all my running stuff. I have to pack a cooler full of foods I can eat. And I have to pack willpower by the ton.

It starts with a 4 hour road trip. And I brought some Laughing Cow light cheese and crackers, some apples, carrots, and bread thins sandwich makings. And I said a little prayer that I could avoid ‘road food’ and the insatiable munchies that represent a road trip. I also packed some other food to try and save money and stay on the healthy track while spending 12+ hours a day at a venue with only fair food. Burgers, fries, pretzels, kettle corn, chocolate covered ice cream, and bratwurst – OH MY!! ALL my favorite foods (at outrageous prices) and no way to go anywhere else for food.

So my vision was stress induced, but accurate. I wish I were in the position to just call “truce” for a short time; to just stop digging for a few days and relax on the beach. But that scares me too much. I’m scared that if I let up for even a day that all my progress will just *poof* be gone. And I WANT my chaise lounge – my fuzzy towel – my damn tropical drink. I want to lay back and enjoy the accomplishment.

But I’m not there yet. I’m still digging. And I may lay down my shovel a little bit this weekend. But I won’t give up. I can’t. There’s a chair on the beach with my name on it!! Who’s going to meet me there??!



1 comment:

Sandy Lee said...

That is such a great post. I had never thought of it that way but it makes so much sense. Hope you get the lounger first. Or maybe the cold drink. Or maybe...

Keep strong-and think of all the money you will save by not getting that Bratwurst!