Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Wednesday...

Well, I made it to the pool last night!  Finally - I feel like progress!  Swam 1,000m in 27 minutes so now I'm MORE certain I can make next week's race in under the time cut off. 

Did I mention I'm doing an Aquathon next week?  It intrigued me so I signed up - 1,000m swim followed by a 8k run.  After I signed up, I started looking at the details.  There's a time cut off.  And my BEST times are pretty much their time cut offs.  And I've been slacking on the running lately so I'm a little nervous.  I really don't want a ride home in the sweep car. 

Last night we had a car club meeting - which is always held at a buffet.  *le sigh* 

I did pretty good - a nice fresh salad to start, a rare piece of steak and a side of broccoli, then the frosting off a mini cupcake.  And I stopped there.  No grazing.  No seconds.  No dessert on my way out the door.  And no candy off the sundae bar.  Definately a win for me. 

Lately I've been paying more attention to how I dress.  I'm a "whatever's clean" sort of gal.  But lately I've been forcing myself to pay more attention.  I've been adding a necklace here and there - putting on shoes instead of flip flops, passing up the usual t-shirts in the closet.  And people are noticing.  It's kind of fun.  I could get used to it.  It's definately a pick me up when someone else comments on how I look. 

Which leads me to this: It's time to go through the closet again.  I've got some clothes that aren't flattering, sag, and are my "Just in Case" clothes.  You know the ones.  The comfy pants that when you're having a "there's no way I'll fit in THAT" day you pull them out.  You know they'll fit.  And you ignore the fact that you'll be yanking them UP all day. And by lunch you're writing yourself notes to donate the damn things already.  But there's an attachment there - something that prevents me from purging them.  "But what if...."

I'm wearing a pair of size 12 pants today - a little stretchy is how I justify it.  Somehow I can't seem to convince myself that I EARNED a pair of size 12 pants.  Somehow it's easier to believe that the 16's I wore yesterday is what I deserve.  Those are going in donate and out the door TONIGHT.  Both pairs.  Yup.  I have 2 pairs of size 16 that I  can't seem to let go of.  Just in case...

Body image is so damn tricky.  My husband (and most men I know) don't seem to have the same issues.  How many people here have men in their lives who wear the same size pants as xxx pounds ago - they won't admit that they're buttoned a lot lower now.  When they FIT them, the button was much closer to their actual waist.  Now they're fashionably "low waisted", held up in some cases only by pubic hair.  EEWWW.  Sorry for that... 

But why don't men have the same issues?  Is it biological?  Social?  Denial?  I know there are some men who do suffer from it - but most of the ones I know could give a rip if their pants are above or below their waist - they don't seem to care that their pants size is shows on the OUTSIDE of their pants (raise your hand if you'd allow THAT to happen?!), they just seem somehow so much more confident than women (generalizing - I know).  They have their own issues...but when it comes to body image?  I want to be a man! 

TTFN,
LauraLynne

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ever consider the subject of gaining weight after gastric bypass? So many people in the weight loss community consider it. But, experiences like yours (~10 years later) and still making an effort to change habits/be fit are invaluable.
It's kinda like how mothers never discuss hemorrhoids or loose bladders or other ramifications pregnancy that would have been nice to know BEFOREHAND! Instead it's all cravings and healthy glow.
Just an idea.

LauraLynne said...

Anon - that's a great idea - I will post up about re-gaining after gastric bypass...it really IS something that needs to be talked about.

Googie said...

Good to hear about your swim! I also have been paying a little more attention to my clothes. I really want to be noticed at my work so maybe I can get a promotion sometime soon. Keep up the great work!!

Katy said...

absolutely go ahead and borrow that wolves story...it's not mine, it's an old story. It's great, isn't it?