Tuesday, October 26, 2010

sick day - catch up day - abstaining from food notes

so yesterday I got the message loud and clear.  So here it is 3:30 in the afternoon, I'm only JUST getting out of bed, emailed work about a sick day this morning, and generally not feeling great.  So...I'll catch up on blogs while listening to Hulu - right?  :)

I'm a little frustrated by internet filters at work - during slow times I can read other blogs but I can't comment - for some reason, commenting is blocked.  Now I have to figure out how to "bookmark" the ones I want to comment on from home!  Suggestions??

Meanwhile, I've been blogging extensively about my training - but not so much about my food issues - which are still alive and well.  Some things I'm doing well on - candy's tempting but not overwhelmingly so, I've turned to almonds for a quick snack vs. a bag of chips.  A reasonable alternative in my book.  Sugar is ok - I'm still struggling with how to replace the "you deserve a treat" thoughts that hit me quite often.  Artificial sugar defeats the purpose of abstaining - so sugar free alternatives are out.
My goal is to take the emotional emphasis OFF of food, not find food substitutes.  Does that make sense?  Most people I explain it to are a little befuddled by the concept.  Is alcohol-free beer ok for alcoholics?  Not in my book - am I being unreasonable?

I still have a hard time walking through a grocery store and feel overwhelmed at times with urges for halloween candy.  It's not always bad - but sometimes I really am *this close* to throwing the towel in.  I know it gets better and that keeps me plugging along.  I've done this before - it's been 6 years (give or take - I don't keep track anymore) since I've had cola or caffeine of any type.  I'm not even remotely tempted.  Not even a sip.  So I KNOW it can be done.

My brain is a tricky organ though. 
"just a little bite"
"sugar free doesn't count"
"it's just one"
"you can stop any time"

and on and on and on....

I've been fighting it.  And winning - so far.  Nov 1 is coming up - that marks 3 months no candy, 2 months no chips, and 1 month no sugar treats (I still have natural sugar and instant oatmeal - otherwise no sugar).

In training news - I'm thinking about creating a new training plan.  I'm having trouble finding the time for my Over the Top plan.  I made it with aggressive training in mind.  But I'm feeling like a failure for not completing all the training.  In reality I'm doing really well.  But watching as some of my scheduled training doesn't happen because of regular every day life - it feels like failure.  So I need to adjust.  For comparison, I'm training roughly 2+ hours a day.  Somedays more than 3.  But it's not always 100% effort because I'm tired or distracted.  So my reasoning (rationalization?) is that if I schedule less training but give it 100%, it will be as - if not more - effective. 

I'm super excited because hubby and I are taking a vacation - that will throw a crimp  present a whole new set of challenges.  Our hotel room has amenities and I'll be packing snacks (we're going to a trade show - I'm sure there won't be any healthy food there!!).  There won't be the opportunity to swim but I can get in some nice long runs and I believe there's a workout room at the hotel.  Now to prioritize it.  Maybe make a special "vacation work out plan" so that I have something realistic to stick to.  And some meal planning - new microwave receipes maybe?  Either way I plan on enjoying Vegas and still staying on plan!!

Ok - time to go catch up on some blogs (and leave comments!)



christina said...

Look at your ticker - you are exactly half way there!!! WOOHOO... you went up the mountain, now just time to come back down :)


Lanie Painie said...

When I see candy in the store or even at home if hubby buys some, I tell myself "that has nothing to do with me" and usually it works.

gene said...

wow! 6+ years without caffeine? i can't imagine (as i sip on my starbucks venti dark roast!). i did, though, give up candy 3 halloweens ago. my 17 year old son chides me about chocolate chips in ice cream....whatever.....
my emotions often take over my appetite, too. would love to discuss this topic with you outside of the comments... hit me back at boutdrz at gmail dot com if you'd like.
and thanks for the comment on my blog! you CAN DO IT!

KellyNY said...

there are certain foods I can't ever have in my house, so that means I have to avoid certain aisles in the grocery store. No chips, no ice cream. ever. It's hard, but it is what it is.