Friday, November 12, 2010

Weigh in - food police - and feelings!

well, even without doing a lot of training - ok, no training this week except boot camp - I'm still losing weight.  I've been really careful about what I put in my mouth, especially because I haven't been running, biking, or swimming...
So not only do I come back from vacation having lost weight - but I continued losing weight this week! 

Official weigh in:

191.2 pounds

I can't believe it when I look at that number.  That's how much I weigh.  Me!  I'm seeing so many changes in my body right now - the lumps and bumps I used to focus on are melting away.  My legs are starting to look like legs and less like well...I don't even know how to describe how I saw my legs. 

Abstaining from certain foods really seems to be the key for me.  There are bowls everywhere here at work of people bringing in their leftover candy.  And I recognize from my impulses just how much of that candy I would have eaten. 
Just one. 
Just one - from every bowl. 
Just one - from every bowl - every time I passed.
Just one - from every bowl - every time I passed - plus a few to keep at my desk in case the bowl's empty when I pass again

You see how that math works right?  It doesn't.

But I don't have the option of just one.  And I struggle with it in the moment.  But while the struggle is still hard - my brain fights it - how long it lasts after I walk away is getting shorter.  Now, by the time I get back to my desk, I've forgotten completely about the candy. 

It's refreshing.  It's a relief.  And on one hand I feel like I've delegated the responsibility to someone else - but that someone else IS me.  I've just installed Food Police 1.0 in my brain and FP1.0 is policing the foods I'm abstaining from.  And I'm starting to be ok with the idea of  "no more xyz EVER".  It doesn't scare me like it used to. 

Relief.  A burden lifted.  Hope.   Those are bubbling to the surface these days.  And it feels good.



Allan said...

In the end, you are the only one that can pass up the food..Awesome

Farewell2Fat4Ever said...

Great Job! I have been scared to say "I will not eat XYZ forever." I just don't want to do that. Although the reality is, along my journey, I may have to say that about certain things. Like my potatoes. Right now, my moderation is working, but as I get closer to goal, I'm sure I will have to pull a few tricks like that to get the weight off.

Kudos to your success!


Anonymous said...

Congrats on the continued weight loss.

I have to think in terms of the scale in the morning as well - I am still at the point where I can for the most part see a loss every morning, even if it is just .2, if I eat okay.

I was pretty lucky with the lack of Halloween candy at work this year, but that didn't stop me from eating 4 pieces as I was throwing out my daughter's candy.

I like what you say about the definition in your legs - I want that so badly!