Wednesday, January 26, 2011

why pregnancy and food addiction don't go well together

As a food addict, I eat when I'm tired, emotional, bored, etc.  I struggle to deal with the emotions directly, instead I eat.  At 17 weeks pregnant, I'm always tired and especially emotional.  With excessive morning sickness, I am REQUIRED to eat all day long, never having an empty tummy (or else it starts a downward spiral of yuckiness). 
This combo is tough to combat. 
I'm really struggling. 
Mostly I'm struggling with knowing the right answer and not doing it.

The answer is healthy choices.  And most of the time I make great choices.  But when I get off track, it's HUGE.  It's not a mini-candy, it's several king size.  (I'm *eye rolling* myself right here).  Instead of surgery on my stomach 10 years ago, I should have had surgery on my brain. 

So how do I tap into DOING the right thing again.  I've been toying again with the idea of going to OA.  Just to do SOMETHING.  Some Action.  A first step (no pun intended).  The meeting is less than 2 miles away from my son's baseball on Saturday mornings but starts 1/2 hour earlier - I may go scope it out to see if my son can walk safely from the meeting to baseball - or if I can drop him off a little early.  I need to do something. 
I also need to start MOVING again.  I've been a lump on a log since the positive pregnancy test.  I haven't run (that feels entirely out of the question at this point) but I haven't walked or anything lately.  Even just 20 minutes a day.  I have to lose the "go big or go home" and concentrate on baby steps (ok - that pun WAS intended! *grin*).  I just printed out the swim schedule - I will have to avoid the hot tub (gosh darn it!) but I think that getting 30 minutes of swim in a couple times a week along with some 20-30 minute walks should be enough to keep the scale from going up too fast. 
And I need to start eliminating foods again.  I SO want to tell you I'm ready for that.  I WANT to be ready for that.  That struggle is what tells me that I NEED TO DO THIS. 
Ok.  I will not go down to the vending machine right now.  that was the plan.  I have the coins laid out on my desk.  I had a plan.  But today I will not eat Candy. 
I have no plan for tomorrow, Today is Day 1, no candy.  this time it's not just for me. 

I will eat a pear instead. 

Meanwhile things are going well with Baby Love...we are 17 weeks today, my tummy is already getting huge, I'm feeling VERY pregnant and not even halfway.  I'm exhausted all. the. time.  I'm having VIVID dreams for what feels like all night long - some very graphic (last night I dreamt I held the baby through my skin!  ewww), some very fun and detailed, some very vague.  But I wake up feeling not very rested.  I try not to complain (other than here) because I really am very grateful for this healthy pregnancy...but WOW...I forgot just how hard this is!!  short breath, my stomach growls full OR empty, the exhaustion...  There are good things - I've got porn star boobs, a healthy, growing baby inside me, stretchy waistband pants, feeling Baby Love rolling around, and generally a feeling of amazement.


amandakiska said...

The last time I swam on a regular basis was when I was pregnant. It feels so good to take the pressure off your muscles and joints, especially as you grow bigger. And walking every day is great exercise! Take that new pup of yours. We are so lucky to live where the weather lets us get outside year-round.

Dr. Fat To Fit said...

So happy that everything is going well with baby and you. I'VE BEEN THERE with the pregnancy and food issues. Let me tell you, stop it now. Right now. Because if you don't get back off the sugar and crap now, being tired with a newborn will only make it super harder. And I agree that you need to get going on the exercise, in moderation of course. Swimming and walking and biking(stationary) are great. Even running is OK most of the time if you are already a runner, which you are. Talk to your doctor.

But, I know EXACTLY how you feel with the eating and all that. Just remember, the healthier the food you put in you, the healthier the baby. Would you hand your lovely beautiful new little baby a king sized M&Ms? Silly, I know, but maybe the imagery will help next time. :)

Kelly said...

OMG, I missed the post where you announced the news. Congratulations!!
I remember morning sickness and the cravings for things that I shouldn't have. I just gave in to them. And here I am. Hang in there. Don't let that baby tell you to eat candy. You have to be strict with kids even when in utero. ;-)