Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Self-Control/Self discipline "muscles"

There was a report on the radio this morning as I was headed to work.  I listened with one ear while enjoying one of the few moments in the day when my time is MY time (yes, commuting is my only "me" time...). 
The report was something along the lines of "the more you resists things, the easier it gets."  And my first thought was "DUH!"
Then I subconsciously smacked myself in the forehead.  DUH.  It's like any other skill - physical or mental.  You have to practice to get it right.  I can't walk out on a basketball court and expect to sink 3 pointers.  Or any pointers really.  But if I practice really (REALLY) hard, I may be able to eventually play a decent game.  Globetrotter I'll never be but I bet I could be a team player on a rec team.  With practice. 
Not that I WANT to play basketball (I'm 5'-6" on a good day and frankly not very good at ball sports).  But there are other "skills" that I need to work on.  Self control.  Self discipline.  And, like muscles, they need to be worked out to be stronger and more effective.
My self control and self discipline - much like the rest of my muscles - are pretty flabby.  Honestly I used pregnancy as the Grand Excuse to go back on all of my food habits.  Yes, I didn't feel well.  Yes, I needed to eat more.  But I didn't eat as healthy as I should and I ate crap.  I still eat crap.  I've lost all the progress I made on the self control/self discipline front.  And like the rest of the muscles, I WILL start working out those skills.
Yesterday was my first day (again) without candy.  It's hard.  It's become such a habit - a fidget - that it's hard to realize when I'm doing it.  Like biting your nails.  Looking down and thinking "now when did THAT happen!?"  I've been eating compulsively.  I have healthy options but I've been "treating" myself and it's not healthy.  Not for my weight, not for my food addiction. 
So yesterday I did 24 "reps" of self-control.  No candy.  And today I'll to 24 more.  And I'll picture building those muscles.  I'll have shapely calves AND healthy self control.  Eventually. 

Today's weigh in was encouraging:  204.5 pounds. 

And tonight I'll get a picture and some measurements - because my self discipline applies to following through on commitments. 

Monday, February 6, 2012

207 - hard to type that!

Ok - my tri training has started but my eating hasn't stopped. 
How's that for a fine "where ya been, how ya doing" post. 
I've been sporadically training - time is such a premium and frankly, I'm not prioritizing it the way I know I need to be.  Not only that but if I start REALLY training then I have to address the landslide of eating I've been doing.  It's bad people.  Really really bad.  As bad as it's ever been.  I'll leave it at that. 
Today however, I start on Day 1 again.  No candy.  None.  In fact I still had candy left on my desk from Friday.  And I threw it away.  Me.  Really.  Threw it away.  And I'm committing to blogging on a regular basis.  Because I NEED to.  Because I HAVE to.  Because it works for me.
So tomorrow I'll be back with pictures and measurements - and my plan.
Meanwhile - more gratuitous baby pictures - this is from halloween!